Beware of the Monsters

I haven't really spent a lot of updating my blog. I have been over extending myself with various projects and job hunting. Also getting ready for the Decemeber 1st launch date of fraXure.

The hardest thing for me probably has been the job hunting. That's why I need to beaware of the Monsters...out on many various job posting boreds and websites there are a lot of staffing firms advertising. More staffing firms than actual businesses advertising their own jobs. I really shun to the fact of going through a staffing firm do to the fact that they make money off of me working, money that is straight from my salary or hourly pay. So I finally got a job at place where everyone and there brother has worked before or is still working there. It is not hard to get a job at Call Tech, but a job is a job.

I also have been spending time with a close friend of mine. Unfortunately, we don't ge to see each other as much as I would like due to our conflicting schedule, but I think that that makes the time we do get to spend together all more enjoyable. Hopefully when I start my job next week on Monday it will allow me to have a more flexible schedule and more opportunity to hang out together if we so please.

I also have been fishing with my dad on Sundays. Fishing is one of the most relaxing things I can do that doesn't really cost any money. It is a lot of fun just being out on the water in the boat relaxing, bonding with my dad, and occasionly catching a fish or two. Since I just recently met my father around 2 years ago, I really enjoy the time we spend together to bond. He has a lot of useful information in him and a lot of great advice. I only wish I would have known him my whole life or at least that I had more time to spend with him to get to know him better.

But as I always say, "No regrets."

Next Post: To Be fraXure or Not to Be?

The Invisible Visible Woman

"I can see, but yet you make me blind." -- David McClain '05

People can control what they do and what they say. But yet there are things that it are much harder for us to control. Our thoughts, our feelings, and our deepest fears or needs. Those are some things that can be overwhelmingly hard to control. And being human means I have flaws and have those "mindsets". There are things that I traditionly wouldn't tell anyone, but yet I feel like you should know. There are things that I feel that I have never felt before. But yet I can not express or say these things because my "logic" and head tell me otherwise. The biggest mistake a man can have is to say things he feels regarding emotions. That is not how I feel, but how it has come across to me that "society" feels we should do. Men are suppose to be the ones that "suppress" there emotions and feelings. But yet it is hard for me to do. I don't see why I shouldn't be able to share my feelings with everyone; and not be judged just because I shared my thoughts. I don't know...I geuss I still have some years left to figure out the world and try to change it.

That's why I write poetry from time to time.

slap
face
Nothing
kick
groin
Nothing
struck
arrow
"Ouch"
-- Me Sept. 8, 2005

Next Post: Beware of the Monsters

The Title Wave

There comes a point in everyone's life that they want something better. They wish to have things easier and overall more enjoyable. I think I have reached point one of that venture.

After being a "very important" pizza delivery driver for over 9 months now, I have decided to throw in the towel. Excellent money can be made in pizza delivery; unfortunately, when you have and older car like I do, a lot of wonderful repairs come to. I have put over 36,000 miles on my car since November of 2004 when I bought the car. The national average for yearly miles is 12,000 to 15,000 miles. I put over three times the average already and I still have two months to go till I have had the car a year. Driving even a brand new car that much will definitely start to get costly with even regular maintence; not to mention $3.00 + a gallon for gas. (Gas is suspected to be around $8.00 a gallon by Christmas time of this year. That's pretty funny since they said it would be $3.00 a gallon by summertime, and here summer is pretty much over and just finally hit $3.00. God forbid anyone would make such a mistake to say that gas would be one price and it not hit that goal. They have us over a barrel...no pun intended. But yet I digress.) So it's time to find a new job.

After countless job posting on many different web sites, I finally found the right kind of job for me. Homeless man. The reason being is that it is easier to do nothing than anything at all. Or so I have been told. I applied for several customer service oriented jobs and some entry level or intern IT related jobs. I know worse comes to worse that McDonald's is always hiring. After several interviews so far, I am certain that I will find something better than McDonald's.

Next Story: The Invisible Visible Woman

Yet another normal day...or is it?

As each day goes on, I grow impatient. I am 20 years old and feel emotionally like I am in my 50's. The things I have been through, the things I have seen, and the experiences that have risen out of my control have changed me. The things I feel are not that of "average" 20 year old. Here I am complaining about my life and not enjoying the fortunate things I do have going for me. I live in a house which I "co-own" with my roommates, not renting like half our neighbors. It is a nice house too, in a nice neighborhood, and on a nice side of town. I have two cars, of which normally only one at a time is running. I have a job in which I know I am not going to get laid off or fired any time soon, if ever. I have a dog that does not destroy everything. I have a ton of friends and a few "relationship options" (of which only one I would really like to persue.)

But yet this is all not good enough. I have things that I want that I know will come with time. But this is where I become impatient and not want to wait. I have been through a lot...and unrelized by me not everyone goes through what I did (what a shocker.) I will just have to wait and be patient. Things I want I do not feel are unreasonable or attainable. I would like to have fincial freedom. That way I could provide for myself and a family, if I should so choose to have one. That is the biggest stress relief in the world...or so I hear. Fincial security leads to many other happy things. Don't get me wrong, I do not want to be a millioniare (although I would not complain about it). I just want to be able to afford the things that I have to, and have money in order to be able to prepare for emergencies. This gives a sense of security that I think everyone should have.

That's enough rambling on for me for now.

Always rememeber this one piece of advice...please don't name your kid David.

-- David