Let There Be Light

(To those of you who had noticed and responded or read the previous post I had written and then promptly removed the next morning, please disregard what you read and my deepest apologies are sent out to those that were effected by it. (Again, I am sorry I am a "poo-poo head".))

Maybe I knew all along when I decided to name my next topic Let There Be Light. Then again maybe not.

This past Saturday morning at approximately 4:00 am my great-grandma Cosma J. Stewart passed away. She was my mother's father's mother. I use to see her a lot more when I was younger; but as the years have gone by I have drifted apart, not only with her, but with the rest of my family too. Welcome to adulthood I guess. I spent Monday arranging to get flowers for the funeral and also continuing my job hunt. Tuesday was the Wake (the open casket visitation).

I was fortunate to have someone go with me to the second Wake Tuesday evening. Someone I care very deeply about. I don't know if she wants her name out on here or not, but I will see and update later if necessary. I was a little worried because of the "very opinionated" family I have. Well, mainly my mother. But to the best of my awareness it appears as if everything went pretty smoothly. My mom behaved herself for the most part and I did not have to get in to it with her. No fighting, yes that's right, I spent almost 8 hours with my mom over Tuesday and Wednesday and there was no fighting between the both of us. What is the world coming too?

I knew that the rest of my family would get along fine with Karen. (Well...I decided to put her name in here, I guess if she wants it out I can.) especially my grandmother (my mother's mom), who when I told her about Karen the first thing she said is, "I love her already!" before they even met, my word's exactly ;) . Even though my grandmother was a little drugged up with pain killers from her foot surgery and having to walk around all day she didn't make to many mistakes of fumbling around. Although when someone did ask her if Karen was her daughter, my grandmother did respond something to the effect that she was not family yet. For which repeated to everyone in the room. I am not sure what Karen though of that and I know it made me feel a little awkward. And the fact that my mother did say that taking someone to a funeral and a wedding is a "big step", but I let that one go with her so as things might remain civil for awhile. Anyways, no more sad stuff. That was all done today after the burial.

Good news. There were some things that were bothering me in the back of my mind and for whatever reason finally came through on Saturday night (or in other people's time...crack-fiend early Sunday morning). That is why I had previously written the old topic which was removed the next morning. The post was written while I was half asleep and a little upset. I felt and still do feel really bad about what I had wrote, and hope that there is some way that I can make it up to the people I know that it effected. The good news, however, is that the things that were troubling me are laid to rest do to misunderstanding on my part and talking things through with the other appropriate people(s).

There should be another post by the end of this week as long as I find a job. If I don't find a job, all of my time will be dedicated to that seeing as I will be without work by the end of this week.

But I want to end this topic with a poem and a quote of which I know the right person will know who I am talking to. Someone who I am very lucky and fortunate to have in my life and I hope it remains that way for a long time.

"If I could find your face I would kiss you." -- ;)

Though you don't live next door,
though you're a ways away,
You're still here in my thoughts
every week, every day.

When events of the day
cause this soul to despair,
just the sound of your voice
makes them easy to bear.

When I don't have the luxury
of feeling your soft touch
or taking in your scent,
which I appreciate so much,

I need only look back
at the times we have had
to wonder if I've
any right to be sad.

You're truly a blessing.
I want you to know
that I care for you deeply,
wherever I go.

Next Topic: Anticivilazation At It's Finest